What turns you on? 

For me, it’s smarts. It’s knowledge, expertise and the readiness to learn. 

My best friends are smart; my boyfriend is a genius; my peers are experts in their fields; the people I follow on Twitter are smart – they don’t spam my feed with links to news sites or politics, they’re able to formulate witty and sometimes cheeky or cynical tweets. 

I like being around people who are intellectually stimulating, and yes, I’m an intellectual snob. If you don’t have depth or cannot impart any information on me, I won’t waste your time or my time, and shouldn’t we all be as selective?
Smarts don’t necessarily mean degrees or diplomas or phD’s… (Mere titles that cost $$$$$ – always remember that you can read books and do the research while not having registered to a formal programme). And while having degrees to your name and a voluminous reservoir of textbook knowledge is great, a curious mind and a willingness to explore and learn is what I’m talking about. 

Thinking doesn’t strain your brain. We think all the time – but if we gossip 24/7 and focus all our brainpower on the Kardashians, for example, we’re dumbing down. 

Intelligence is sexy. Read a novel, watch the news, choose a random topic and do some fun research… Learn. Grow. Train your brain to get the best out of it. You will become more interesting and more confident, people will gravitate towards you. It’s happened to me. I’ve outgrown many friendships simply by improving myself and I’ve found it to be so rewarding. 

Still not convinced that intelligence is sexy? Remember, a woman’s orgasm starts at her brain. 



I’m sinking. 

I don’t know how else to describe this feeling – a chilling, sinking feeling that starts in my belly and washes over my entire body – like diarrhoea, not a pleasant summer shower.

I am jealous yet I have nothing to be jealous about – rationally and logically I know this. But instinctively, I become very jealous – and I don’t push the feeling out of my mind; instead, I cradle it. I nurture it until it’s strong enough to destroy me…. Only kidding. I am able to let it go easily and it certainly does feel like a weight off my shoulders. I do this by taking step outside myself to think rationally, then it’s crystal clear that there’s no reason for the green monster. 

What bothers me is that I go there in the first place. 

I often wonder if these moments of jealousy are worth it; it stems from loving someone obsessively. Of course it is… I reminds us not to take what we have for granted and forces us to find our inner strength and confidence or else we will drown. We’ve got to learn how to swim through turbulent jealouseas.   

It’s not fun but it is normal. Excessive jealously leads to irrationality. Just remember to always take a step back and think logically. 
Another useful thing to remember is that unless you’re crying or dancing, never to do anything when you’re emotionally charged. So if you’re angry, hurt, jealous, euphoric, etc – do not make promises or threats. 

I nose best! 


I’ve been really busy lately… But I thought it would be good to take time to write and reflect on my life, so this is an update on my self growth, self love & self acceptance. 

At one point, my nose seemed too big, and I hated taking photographs because I felt ugly! It’s a horrible feeling, but I don’t hate my jumbo nose anymore because there’s no point in hating what you can’t change (non-surgically) 😝 however, lucky for us girls, there’s contouring! So please comment/refer me to some great make up blogs. I’d appreciate it. 

Seriously though, I’m so happy with myself right now. I passed my exams well; I’m starting a business; I am with the man of my dreams (although, if you read previous posts you will understand that it’s complicated – BUT ITS STILL FEELS LIKE MAGIC); and I feel comfortable in my skin – genuinely comfortable for the first time. 

I love my skin tone, I like the way my nose sits on my face and the curve of my lip… And my tiger strips (stretch marks) add character & keep me humble 😝

My focus has shifted from changing myself, to improving myself. 
Side note – don’t you think that it’s pretty unfair that most men don’t have a problem with stretch marks and cellulite regardless of their weight or shape… Ever looked at your boyfriend’s bum and it’s flawless?  I mean YAY because he’s yours but OMG ENVY because we ladies have to marinade ourselves in bio oil and cellulite gels.  

Side side note – I just wanted to mention boyfriend and bums because mine’s got a nice one! Gosh how inappropriate I am 😉 

Growing pains

We are halfway through 2015 and I have achieved a tremendous amount of personal growth already.

I have always been afraid to think about my wants, desires and dreams. I feared it would just disappoint me if they never materialized. This fear seemed alive – domineering, breathing down my neck, chasing after me… While others affirmed their desires, I hid in the background. For my fear of disappointment stood in the forefront, jubilant and intimidating –  a destructive force waiting to shove my dreams down my throat and I cowered from the abuse my subconscious subjected me to. So, I consider myself reckless (and brave) for saying that I want to travel; I want to be loved, I want to feel needed and looked after; I want to own a business; I want to be successful… I want I want I want


I started to affirm little things like wanting to have a positive relationship with everyone around me, and four years later, my ex messages me – he apologized and wanted to be on good terms. We are friends and it makes me happy.

My current boyfriend, is not a boy at all, he is older. I was afraid to let people know, I feared judgment. I feared that people will think he is having a midlife crisis, and that I am a gold digger… until I realized that I have become a confident woman who fears no judgment. I am happy, loved and treated with dignity and respect.

I have wondered why interviewers love me, offer me jobs but it never works out in the end. It can be disheartening, I feared I am not good enough, but I have recently been told that I am a very enterprising individual and I am going to take the leap…

…into an abyss of dreams, hope, bravery.

2015, you have been a year of lessons, and there is 6 months left, I am excited to see what more is in store!

A much needed break 

Everyone needs to experience a heartbreak. It’s rejuvenating.

When you go through a heartbreak, your world falls apart. It is devastating and you you’re drowning in a sea of emotions – betrayal, insecurity, sadness. You aren’t sure if the pain will kill your or make you stronger.

From experience, I can tell you that the pain does in fact kill you. It kills the weak part of you and it is a slow, painful death. People deal with loss in many ways, some turn to extreme behavior while others sulk for months. Regardless, you will find that after this tragedy, all that’s left is a stronger, sexier NEW YOU.

Heart breaks occur to everyone, a break up horror story is like a horoscope prediction – no matter your star sign, its all applicable to you at some point of your life. It’s so general even when it feels so personal.

My first and worst heartbreak happened so fast. It happened over a weekend, he loved me on the Friday and on Saturday he stood me up, on Sunday he told me we were over. Swift hey. I was distraught and confused.

I did not get an explanation why his heart rejected mine. What he did give me was a web of lies – and he soon became entangled in his lies and naturally, became defensive.Typical. He abused me verbally and emotionally. My cruel first love whom I loved so intensely and so unconditionally showed no mercy.

Argh, insert pathetic messages and feelings of wanting to die.

A part of me died (and thank God, the pathetic me died, so I’m left with 100% awesome), but it has made me who I am today. I am smarter, more confident and I know how to handle my feelings in a mature manner.

Never be afraid to give your whole heart to someone, don’t fear the heartbreak, if it happens, its a much needed break. I speak about mine so casually, but at the time it felt like I was being skinned alive. It was brutal but I got over it and so does everyone else.

Love, and love hard.


“When your love is pure or spiritual, there is no demand, no expectation. There is only the sweetest feeling of spontaneous oneness with the human being or beings concerned.”

– Sri Chinmoy



I have felt wanted, I have felt needed, but never have I felt loved. Until now. It is a glorious feeling,  and I am grateful.


I have not yet watched the 50 Shades of Grey movie, but it seems that people either love or hate it. It’s controversial and people waste no time slamming it. A number of BDSM practitioners have claimed that the movie does not successfully illustrate BDSM, in fact, they say it doesn’t come close. Other people believe that the movie promotes an abusive relationship. But what is it that wets interests us?

Firstly, I will confess that I have read the books – all 3. Not because I thought it was great, without being too harsh, I will say that it wasn’t the best written book HOWEVER it aroused my curiosity and I have never read erotica, I wanted the dirt! Furthermore, I wanted to know more about the filthy rich, gorgeous and somewhat damaged Mr Grey and hoped the books would improve. It did – but it wasn’t the sex that hooked me (which is mildly disappointing – I wanted hot, orgasmic action) – that was badly written and awkward to read. It was the psychological aspect, which although flimsy, was the best thing about the book.

Every woman has had a fantasy of a being swept off her feet by a sexy, successful man, and that is the reason behind an average book becoming a global phenomenon – and E.L James undoubtedly has an amazing publicist.

Although MalaysiaIndonesia and Kenya have banned the movie due to the sexual content, the movie did not portray any sexually explicit scenes – much to the disappointment of many movie goers. While there aren’t any explicit scenes, I have a problem with the age restriction being 16SNL.

A sixteen year old is not mature enough to understand or comprehend this type of movie. Raging hormones and a story about a woman who falls in love with a man who wants to control her and have his way with her – threatening to gag her and ignoring safe words, will only lead to trouble. The book (and movie) is romanticized but a girl who is eager to please her boyfriend could subject herself to abuse and manipulation. Boys too, will get the impression that it is acceptable to treat a woman they way Christian Grey does – minus the money.

Will I watch the movie? Definitely, I’d like to formulate my own opinion on it and indulge in this fantasy. Hopefully good casting and great directing will make this movie tantalizing and stimulate me more than the book did.

On another note, the official soundtrack is absolutely sexy!