Love the soul-sucker

We all know a person who is lazy, uninspiring and who sucks the joy out of life. This person is vile, and it wouldn’t be surprising if there is mucus flowing through their veins. 

Who wants to be around that? 

Sometimes, we cannot avoid these types of people. We can cut them out of our inner circles, but we can’t cut them out of our lives completely. Perhaps we go to the same gym, or country club, or work together, or go to the same school, or have mutual friends. 
So what can we do? 

We can learn not to hate them. In fact, embrace them for they are a reminder to aspire to more, be better and make a positive impact in society – or we’ll end up like them. 


Smile b!tch 

I love the “New Years” feeling. Cynics will say that a new year will not change your life, and will usually not support New Years resolutions – because we make promises to ourselves and then get lazy or demotivated and we never achieve what we want to, and yet we do it year after year. 

Do we really want our lives to be a series of unaccomplished goals? Do we want to be reminded that we are fickle and unable to commit? 

Not me… looking from afar, I may come across as lazy. In my previous posts, I mentioned that I would be starting a business. Then life happened and I moved to another city to commence legal articles. I turned down a few projects and it looked like I was a failure. Truth is, I prioritized law and learning above the CSR business. I am glad I did. My legal journey in 2016 has been successful. I set goals but life happened and the goal post had changed, so I adapted and studied further while working my ass off, I worked hard and I focused on me as opposed to what others may think of me. Needless to say, I smashed those goals. 

New goals!! 

I love goals. What better way to get amped for the year ahead, than by setting goals to accomplish? And if something gets in your way (maybe your university also tells you that they’ve changed your course requirements and you can’t graduate until you’ve completed 9 more subjects) – you adapt, and you get on with it. Sulk, throw a tantrum and then focus. Struggles and hardships are character building. 

So… my 2017 resolutions are as follows; 

1. Smile more (in photos) – I look like a dork so I avoid smiling for photos 

2. Pass my board exams – 3 more to go! 

3. Drink 1-2L of water a day 

4. Start mountain biking regularly – fun way to get fit and explore 

5. Go to gym 3-4 times a week, before work if possible. 

6. Come home (to Durban) as often as I can 

7. Make time to connect with friends and family. 

Once established, I then break them up into monthly goals which makes it easier to track my progress. 
See smiles below, goal 1 – progress ✅ 

Mind over matter 

Menstruational cramps are crippling, I was lounging around lifelessly all afternoon – day 1 is always the worst, it felt like my uterus weighed 10kg and was pulling me down, draining me at the same time. Not fun. 
I was almost in tears, cradling my phone while in a foetal position, but I jokingly made a silly remark to my boyfriend telling him what will make me feel better, I felt really bad that I was being whiny (but at this time of the month it’s so easy to feed off the sympathy of others) so I tried to amuse him. Anyway, I laughed at the ridiculous images I summoned to my mind.. And a few seconds later there I was, no cramps, no discomfort – none at all. This is the such an odd example but this mind over matter 💩 is legit. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and my mood changed, and so did my body.

What’s the secret? … Definitely not the book (in my opinion).
I read The Secret, and I hated it. Don’t ask me why, but something about it wasn’t authentic and there was unnecessary hype around it. However, I did read a very similar book which I think is fantastic. It’s titled “The Power of your Subconscious Mind” by Dr Joseph Murphy. There are references to God, but you don’t need to be religious to appreciate this book. It’s promotes positive thinking – which is why I enjoyed it, and I told myself that it’s a happy coincidence if positive thinking leads to having my desires fulfilled. 

Well, I thought myself better and that’s a good start for me. The mind is powerful. If you think you’re feeling horrible then you will feel horrible. Sometimes when I’m nervous, I pretend to be confident and I often forget that I’m not pretending anymore. 

Project duplicate

If I can afford to splurge on myself, I can afford to help someone else out in a little way. 

This is my personal project that I have committed to.

What this means is that for every self indulgent splurge I make on myself, I will spend money on someone who deserves it. For example: I purchased a new pair of shoes (I always splurge on shoes because I do not compromise my comfort), and while I am in no financial position to splurge on a pair of shoes for someone else, I did buy a pair of reasonably priced shoes for someone who had old, torn shoes. He was grateful and I felt good. Maybe I do this for my ego, but if so, so what? I get a high from improving lives, even if its a small gesture like buying a pair of shoes for someone.

Last week, I paid my varsity fees (using my mom’s credit card) and while this is not a “splurge” I realized how lucky and privileged I am as I do not to worry about finances or paying for my education. Unfortunately, education is a luxury for many. This led me to contact a local primary school (public) and ask for a the names of any students who had outstanding fees because they could not afford it, there were 3 names – the children had been defaulting for years and the school had no choice but to hand them over to debt collectors, *insert Sasha* I decided to give their parents one less thing to worry about this year and paid the outstanding balances – anonymously, from my own pocket (not my mom’s credit card). This made me feel good too, even though the beneficiaries have no idea who I am.

Like Joey says, there is no selfless good deed

Bound by your thoughts

“Whether you think you can or you can’t – you’re right”

– Henry Ford

Have you ever felt trapped inside your head? Shackled by your doubts and insecurities? One moment you’re on the verge of doing something new or outside your comfort zone – whether it is getting started on a goal or spontaneously attempting a ride a wave, you feel motivated and your adrenalin is pumping – and the next moment you feel like you’re being smothered. A menacing laugh thunders into your ears and doubt pours hard. When the storm is over, the aftermath is infinitely worse, that voice you’re all too familiar with, vehemently chides you “give up now, you’re useless and you will fail” – that voice belongs to you. You are drowning in your own doubt.

Your mind can be your greatest ally, propelling you forward or it can be your worst nightmare – a hostage taker trapping you inside your own head. You do not have to be a believer of “the secret” phenomenon to know that if you believe you can’t do something – you will not be able to do it simply because you will not try. However, if you believe that you can do something, you will do it, sometimes not instantaneously – but you will work towards it.

When my best friend coerced me into joining the gym with her, I was uninterested and demotivated. Then, after a year I noticed gradual changes in my body and I was inspired to work harder and see bigger improvements. I was much stronger and confident but when I attempted to try something new, I froze. I hated the treadmill, I referred to it as the “dreadmill” and running had always been a challenge. So how on earth did I run 15km in the bush?

Running, and more specifically, trail running intimidated me, “you will not be able to keep up, you will fall and embarrass yourself, and you will finish last.” My dark passenger refused to let me try. But I did not succumb.

I bluffed.

I told myself, quite unconvincingly at first, that I can do it. I affirmed over and over again until I truly believed I could, so all I had to do was attempt it.

I did, and after a gruelling 5 minutes, wanted to quit. I bluffed again – just 5 more minutes. Every muscle in my legs awakened and they were pissed off with me, my legs burned. My chest ached and I fought for each breath but I succeeded, 2km first, then 5km and eventually 15km. It may seem like a small feat, but it was my biggest lesson. Your body can do whatever your mind says it can, so train your mind to be your ally.