Love the soul-sucker

We all know a person who is lazy, uninspiring and who sucks the joy out of life. This person is vile, and it wouldn’t be surprising if there is mucus flowing through their veins. 

Who wants to be around that? 

Sometimes, we cannot avoid these types of people. We can cut them out of our inner circles, but we can’t cut them out of our lives completely. Perhaps we go to the same gym, or country club, or work together, or go to the same school, or have mutual friends. 
So what can we do? 

We can learn not to hate them. In fact, embrace them for they are a reminder to aspire to more, be better and make a positive impact in society – or we’ll end up like them. 

Work. Self promotion. Sleep. 

I type this with heavy eyelids, I cannot wait to get under the covers. Sleep is one of my favorite pastimes (had you told me this when I was a child, I would have told you to bugger off). Over the last few weeks, I’ve been burning the 11pm oil (my candle burns out by midnight) and rising early to work (on my business proposals). 

In 2016, my focus was on university and my first year as a technology and media candidate attorney. It has been great. I’m glad to note that I have been growing my personal brand as a technology lawyer. 

One year in, and I’ve been published in reputable platforms, including South Africa’s legal journal. I will include the links below as I’m not above self promotion. If you don’t promote yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? 

I have now adjusted to working over and beyond 8 hours (candidate attorney life) while studying full time. This adjustment has confirmed that there is as much time in a day as you choose. 

I have currently been stretching the hours of my allocated 24 hours, at work and on Symbios, my CSI (Corporate Social Investment) consultancy, or implementancy as I like to call it. We’re doers, go-getters, action people and we’re going to manage sustainable projects. 
Exciting times ahead! But first, sleep. 

Oh wait, before bed, here are the links to my articles that I’ve written (and co-written). 
1. Is virtual child porn illegal? http://www.timeslive.co.za/ilive/2016/04/15/Is-virtual-child-porn-illegal 

2. Your private Facebook messages can be used in court against you – even if you were hacked http://www.timeslive.co.za/politics/2016/02/05/Your-private-Facebook-messages-can-be-used-in-court-against-you-even-if-you-were-hacked-iLIVE

3. POPI – Compliance v Defiance http://www.derebus.org.za/popi-compliance-v-defiance/ 

4. Businesses lure Pokémon go players to their doorsteps https://www.businesslive.co.za/bd/opinion/2016-08-11-businesses-lure-pokmon-go-players-to-their-doorsteps/ 

5. Minister Gordhan’s budget speech hints at using big data to give a big beating to corrupt officials https://www.ppmattorneys.co.za/minister-gordhans-budget-speech-hints-using-big-data-give-big-beating-corrupt-officials/

6. SASSA controversy: aspects related to the protection of personal information https://www.ppmattorneys.co.za/sassa-controversy-aspects-related-protection-personal-information/

7. Ben 10s and state ICT procurement- getting it right the first time https://www.ppmattorneys.co.za/ben-10s-state-ict-procurement-getting-right-first-time/

Smile b!tch 

I love the “New Years” feeling. Cynics will say that a new year will not change your life, and will usually not support New Years resolutions – because we make promises to ourselves and then get lazy or demotivated and we never achieve what we want to, and yet we do it year after year. 

Do we really want our lives to be a series of unaccomplished goals? Do we want to be reminded that we are fickle and unable to commit? 

Not me… looking from afar, I may come across as lazy. In my previous posts, I mentioned that I would be starting a business. Then life happened and I moved to another city to commence legal articles. I turned down a few projects and it looked like I was a failure. Truth is, I prioritized law and learning above the CSR business. I am glad I did. My legal journey in 2016 has been successful. I set goals but life happened and the goal post had changed, so I adapted and studied further while working my ass off, I worked hard and I focused on me as opposed to what others may think of me. Needless to say, I smashed those goals. 

New goals!! 

I love goals. What better way to get amped for the year ahead, than by setting goals to accomplish? And if something gets in your way (maybe your university also tells you that they’ve changed your course requirements and you can’t graduate until you’ve completed 9 more subjects) – you adapt, and you get on with it. Sulk, throw a tantrum and then focus. Struggles and hardships are character building. 

So… my 2017 resolutions are as follows; 

1. Smile more (in photos) – I look like a dork so I avoid smiling for photos 

2. Pass my board exams – 3 more to go! 

3. Drink 1-2L of water a day 

4. Start mountain biking regularly – fun way to get fit and explore 

5. Go to gym 3-4 times a week, before work if possible. 

6. Come home (to Durban) as often as I can 

7. Make time to connect with friends and family. 

Once established, I then break them up into monthly goals which makes it easier to track my progress. 
See smiles below, goal 1 – progress ✅ 

A much needed break 

Everyone needs to experience a heartbreak. It’s rejuvenating.

When you go through a heartbreak, your world falls apart. It is devastating and you you’re drowning in a sea of emotions – betrayal, insecurity, sadness. You aren’t sure if the pain will kill your or make you stronger.

From experience, I can tell you that the pain does in fact kill you. It kills the weak part of you and it is a slow, painful death. People deal with loss in many ways, some turn to extreme behavior while others sulk for months. Regardless, you will find that after this tragedy, all that’s left is a stronger, sexier NEW YOU.

Heart breaks occur to everyone, a break up horror story is like a horoscope prediction – no matter your star sign, its all applicable to you at some point of your life. It’s so general even when it feels so personal.

My first and worst heartbreak happened so fast. It happened over a weekend, he loved me on the Friday and on Saturday he stood me up, on Sunday he told me we were over. Swift hey. I was distraught and confused.

I did not get an explanation why his heart rejected mine. What he did give me was a web of lies – and he soon became entangled in his lies and naturally, became defensive.Typical. He abused me verbally and emotionally. My cruel first love whom I loved so intensely and so unconditionally showed no mercy.

Argh, insert pathetic messages and feelings of wanting to die.

A part of me died (and thank God, the pathetic me died, so I’m left with 100% awesome), but it has made me who I am today. I am smarter, more confident and I know how to handle my feelings in a mature manner.

Never be afraid to give your whole heart to someone, don’t fear the heartbreak, if it happens, its a much needed break. I speak about mine so casually, but at the time it felt like I was being skinned alive. It was brutal but I got over it and so does everyone else.

Love, and love hard.

Bound by your thoughts

“Whether you think you can or you can’t – you’re right”

– Henry Ford

Have you ever felt trapped inside your head? Shackled by your doubts and insecurities? One moment you’re on the verge of doing something new or outside your comfort zone – whether it is getting started on a goal or spontaneously attempting a ride a wave, you feel motivated and your adrenalin is pumping – and the next moment you feel like you’re being smothered. A menacing laugh thunders into your ears and doubt pours hard. When the storm is over, the aftermath is infinitely worse, that voice you’re all too familiar with, vehemently chides you “give up now, you’re useless and you will fail” – that voice belongs to you. You are drowning in your own doubt.

Your mind can be your greatest ally, propelling you forward or it can be your worst nightmare – a hostage taker trapping you inside your own head. You do not have to be a believer of “the secret” phenomenon to know that if you believe you can’t do something – you will not be able to do it simply because you will not try. However, if you believe that you can do something, you will do it, sometimes not instantaneously – but you will work towards it.

When my best friend coerced me into joining the gym with her, I was uninterested and demotivated. Then, after a year I noticed gradual changes in my body and I was inspired to work harder and see bigger improvements. I was much stronger and confident but when I attempted to try something new, I froze. I hated the treadmill, I referred to it as the “dreadmill” and running had always been a challenge. So how on earth did I run 15km in the bush?

Running, and more specifically, trail running intimidated me, “you will not be able to keep up, you will fall and embarrass yourself, and you will finish last.” My dark passenger refused to let me try. But I did not succumb.

I bluffed.

I told myself, quite unconvincingly at first, that I can do it. I affirmed over and over again until I truly believed I could, so all I had to do was attempt it.

I did, and after a gruelling 5 minutes, wanted to quit. I bluffed again – just 5 more minutes. Every muscle in my legs awakened and they were pissed off with me, my legs burned. My chest ached and I fought for each breath but I succeeded, 2km first, then 5km and eventually 15km. It may seem like a small feat, but it was my biggest lesson. Your body can do whatever your mind says it can, so train your mind to be your ally.