Mind over matter 

Menstruational cramps are crippling, I was lounging around lifelessly all afternoon – day 1 is always the worst, it felt like my uterus weighed 10kg and was pulling me down, draining me at the same time. Not fun. 
I was almost in tears, cradling my phone while in a foetal position, but I jokingly made a silly remark to my boyfriend telling him what will make me feel better, I felt really bad that I was being whiny (but at this time of the month it’s so easy to feed off the sympathy of others) so I tried to amuse him. Anyway, I laughed at the ridiculous images I summoned to my mind.. And a few seconds later there I was, no cramps, no discomfort – none at all. This is the such an odd example but this mind over matter 💩 is legit. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and my mood changed, and so did my body.

What’s the secret? … Definitely not the book (in my opinion).
I read The Secret, and I hated it. Don’t ask me why, but something about it wasn’t authentic and there was unnecessary hype around it. However, I did read a very similar book which I think is fantastic. It’s titled “The Power of your Subconscious Mind” by Dr Joseph Murphy. There are references to God, but you don’t need to be religious to appreciate this book. It’s promotes positive thinking – which is why I enjoyed it, and I told myself that it’s a happy coincidence if positive thinking leads to having my desires fulfilled. 

Well, I thought myself better and that’s a good start for me. The mind is powerful. If you think you’re feeling horrible then you will feel horrible. Sometimes when I’m nervous, I pretend to be confident and I often forget that I’m not pretending anymore. 
  

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What turns you on? 

For me, it’s smarts. It’s knowledge, expertise and the readiness to learn. 

 
My best friends are smart; my boyfriend is a genius; my peers are experts in their fields; the people I follow on Twitter are smart – they don’t spam my feed with links to news sites or politics, they’re able to formulate witty and sometimes cheeky or cynical tweets. 

I like being around people who are intellectually stimulating, and yes, I’m an intellectual snob. If you don’t have depth or cannot impart any information on me, I won’t waste your time or my time, and shouldn’t we all be as selective?
Smarts don’t necessarily mean degrees or diplomas or phD’s… (Mere titles that cost $$$$$ – always remember that you can read books and do the research while not having registered to a formal programme). And while having degrees to your name and a voluminous reservoir of textbook knowledge is great, a curious mind and a willingness to explore and learn is what I’m talking about. 

Thinking doesn’t strain your brain. We think all the time – but if we gossip 24/7 and focus all our brainpower on the Kardashians, for example, we’re dumbing down. 

Intelligence is sexy. Read a novel, watch the news, choose a random topic and do some fun research… Learn. Grow. Train your brain to get the best out of it. You will become more interesting and more confident, people will gravitate towards you. It’s happened to me. I’ve outgrown many friendships simply by improving myself and I’ve found it to be so rewarding. 

Still not convinced that intelligence is sexy? Remember, a woman’s orgasm starts at her brain. 

Project duplicate

If I can afford to splurge on myself, I can afford to help someone else out in a little way. 

This is my personal project that I have committed to.

What this means is that for every self indulgent splurge I make on myself, I will spend money on someone who deserves it. For example: I purchased a new pair of shoes (I always splurge on shoes because I do not compromise my comfort), and while I am in no financial position to splurge on a pair of shoes for someone else, I did buy a pair of reasonably priced shoes for someone who had old, torn shoes. He was grateful and I felt good. Maybe I do this for my ego, but if so, so what? I get a high from improving lives, even if its a small gesture like buying a pair of shoes for someone.

Last week, I paid my varsity fees (using my mom’s credit card) and while this is not a “splurge” I realized how lucky and privileged I am as I do not to worry about finances or paying for my education. Unfortunately, education is a luxury for many. This led me to contact a local primary school (public) and ask for a the names of any students who had outstanding fees because they could not afford it, there were 3 names – the children had been defaulting for years and the school had no choice but to hand them over to debt collectors, *insert Sasha* I decided to give their parents one less thing to worry about this year and paid the outstanding balances – anonymously, from my own pocket (not my mom’s credit card). This made me feel good too, even though the beneficiaries have no idea who I am.

Like Joey says, there is no selfless good deed

Hello Naledi! 

Regardless of your views on religion and science, you cannot deny that, however controversial, they both tell the best stories which are equally fascinating and provocative. 

Today, 10 September 2015, is significant – Homo Naledi made their debut to mankind. 

Homo erectus was discovered in 1891, homo ergaster (skull) was discovered in 1949 and now, in 2015, we have discovered another species! I cannot contain my excitement for the discovery of the Homo Naledi fossil. When I heard that there was a big announcement, it never occurred to me that we’d find a new species – I assumed that we’d find out that homosapiens liked to fart while doing handstands or that Jesus broke a toe and we found a little fragment of his toe bone in South Africa. I’m glad I was wrong because science has once again ammended history and evolution charts. 

  
Aren’t you intrigued? I am. I just want to know everything about those creatures. Their habits, their homes, their lifestyle. We know that they buried their dead, do you wonder if they shared any other behavior with us? Did they revere or worship anything? 

To me, religion and science is like the age old question of what came first – The chicken or the egg? 

See the photos here

Happy-love glow 

Over the last two days, I’ve had a few guys who have suddenly taken a liking to me, these are guys who I have known for a while – and I’ve even had a crush on one of them, obviously he hadn’t seen me in that romantic light that I had envisioned. He was my flame for a moment, but he never bothered to sweep me off my feet. And suddenly, he sees me! Yay!! Right? 

But I have a boyfriend – and I love this man – so much that I don’t even care that my previous crush wants me, I don’t even have a secret sense of satisfaction, I’m completely indifferent.

  

 Have you ever noticed that nobody wants you when you’re single but everyone wants you when you’re in a relationship? It is true, people are attracted to the happy-love glow you’re exuding. 

Do NOT fall for the people who suddenly want you, they’re attracted to your happiness and confidence that you have because your significant other loves you so well. You know, it’s true about confidence being sexy and that a happy face is always a pretty face. 

Don’t give in to someone else’s fleeting desire when you’ve struck gold. You’re already sitting with the jackpot, why gamble? 

I don’t know about you, but I would rather be wanted and desired by one man who genuinely loves me, than masses of men who are turned on by my happy-love glow until they gravitate towards someone else’s glow. 

Jealousea

I’m sinking. 

I don’t know how else to describe this feeling – a chilling, sinking feeling that starts in my belly and washes over my entire body – like diarrhoea, not a pleasant summer shower.

I am jealous yet I have nothing to be jealous about – rationally and logically I know this. But instinctively, I become very jealous – and I don’t push the feeling out of my mind; instead, I cradle it. I nurture it until it’s strong enough to destroy me…. Only kidding. I am able to let it go easily and it certainly does feel like a weight off my shoulders. I do this by taking step outside myself to think rationally, then it’s crystal clear that there’s no reason for the green monster. 

What bothers me is that I go there in the first place. 

I often wonder if these moments of jealousy are worth it; it stems from loving someone obsessively. Of course it is… I reminds us not to take what we have for granted and forces us to find our inner strength and confidence or else we will drown. We’ve got to learn how to swim through turbulent jealouseas.   

It’s not fun but it is normal. Excessive jealously leads to irrationality. Just remember to always take a step back and think logically. 
Another useful thing to remember is that unless you’re crying or dancing, never to do anything when you’re emotionally charged. So if you’re angry, hurt, jealous, euphoric, etc – do not make promises or threats.