An Ode to Overy 

A few years ago, on a chilly morning, I sat in a queue at the Verulam licensing department. On my right was my mom and to my left was a guy – attractive but in a way that is unapproachable – and his father next to him. Somehow, we got talking, he was far from being unapproachable. In fact, he let me skip ahead of him. 

This is no love story, granted he is everything a girl would want (athletic; outdoorsy; has nice hands and snakes; is respectful) – but this is simply how I met a person who intrigues me to this day. 

He embodied traits that I wanted to adopt. I wanted to be active, and go on adventures. I wanted to be exciting. 

I found myself doing more and living fully – I had always wanted to surf, but something held me back. Would anything hold him back from something he wanted to do? Nope. If no one wanted to join, he’d do it himself. And slowly, I became even more independent and less afraid to do things on my own. I am now fiercely independent with the confidence to do things on my own.
 
Sometimes, we don’t realize that it’s the people we meet who influence us more than we care to admit, even in the briefest interactions.  

Today, we went for a “walk” – and a walk with him could mean anything from a casual stroll to a full blown hike. I was smart and wore sneakers. 


As you can see… I took photos. 


I found that I’m always connected to my cell phone. He chooses to have nothing on him, he is present in conversations and he experiences everything – even casual walks on the beach. In fact, he takes feeling seriously and ditched his slops. 
For whatever reason I had my cell phone on me, I had a different experience – I worried about getting it wet or falling. I was distracted at times. Luckily for me, I am aware of my flaws, and attaching my phone to me as if it’s another limb is a flaw. I tell myself it’s because I like to capture moments, this is true, but sometimes moments are there to be felt and remembered. 

In 2017, when we take photos and capture moments, is it really for us or is it for others to like and admire / envy our lives? 

When I asked him why he doesn’t post his amazing photos on social media, he simply said that his photos are for himself. 

So, thanks Aidan. Thanks for a unique friendship and lessons. 

Logging off… 📴

Work. Self promotion. Sleep. 

I type this with heavy eyelids, I cannot wait to get under the covers. Sleep is one of my favorite pastimes (had you told me this when I was a child, I would have told you to bugger off). Over the last few weeks, I’ve been burning the 11pm oil (my candle burns out by midnight) and rising early to work (on my business proposals). 

In 2016, my focus was on university and my first year as a technology and media candidate attorney. It has been great. I’m glad to note that I have been growing my personal brand as a technology lawyer. 

One year in, and I’ve been published in reputable platforms, including South Africa’s legal journal. I will include the links below as I’m not above self promotion. If you don’t promote yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? 

I have now adjusted to working over and beyond 8 hours (candidate attorney life) while studying full time. This adjustment has confirmed that there is as much time in a day as you choose. 

I have currently been stretching the hours of my allocated 24 hours, at work and on Symbios, my CSI (Corporate Social Investment) consultancy, or implementancy as I like to call it. We’re doers, go-getters, action people and we’re going to manage sustainable projects. 
Exciting times ahead! But first, sleep. 

Oh wait, before bed, here are the links to my articles that I’ve written (and co-written). 
1. Is virtual child porn illegal? http://www.timeslive.co.za/ilive/2016/04/15/Is-virtual-child-porn-illegal 

2. Your private Facebook messages can be used in court against you – even if you were hacked http://www.timeslive.co.za/politics/2016/02/05/Your-private-Facebook-messages-can-be-used-in-court-against-you-even-if-you-were-hacked-iLIVE

3. POPI – Compliance v Defiance http://www.derebus.org.za/popi-compliance-v-defiance/ 

4. Businesses lure Pokémon go players to their doorsteps https://www.businesslive.co.za/bd/opinion/2016-08-11-businesses-lure-pokmon-go-players-to-their-doorsteps/ 

5. Minister Gordhan’s budget speech hints at using big data to give a big beating to corrupt officials https://www.ppmattorneys.co.za/minister-gordhans-budget-speech-hints-using-big-data-give-big-beating-corrupt-officials/

6. SASSA controversy: aspects related to the protection of personal information https://www.ppmattorneys.co.za/sassa-controversy-aspects-related-protection-personal-information/

7. Ben 10s and state ICT procurement- getting it right the first time https://www.ppmattorneys.co.za/ben-10s-state-ict-procurement-getting-right-first-time/

Smile b!tch 

I love the “New Years” feeling. Cynics will say that a new year will not change your life, and will usually not support New Years resolutions – because we make promises to ourselves and then get lazy or demotivated and we never achieve what we want to, and yet we do it year after year. 

Do we really want our lives to be a series of unaccomplished goals? Do we want to be reminded that we are fickle and unable to commit? 

Not me… looking from afar, I may come across as lazy. In my previous posts, I mentioned that I would be starting a business. Then life happened and I moved to another city to commence legal articles. I turned down a few projects and it looked like I was a failure. Truth is, I prioritized law and learning above the CSR business. I am glad I did. My legal journey in 2016 has been successful. I set goals but life happened and the goal post had changed, so I adapted and studied further while working my ass off, I worked hard and I focused on me as opposed to what others may think of me. Needless to say, I smashed those goals. 

New goals!! 

I love goals. What better way to get amped for the year ahead, than by setting goals to accomplish? And if something gets in your way (maybe your university also tells you that they’ve changed your course requirements and you can’t graduate until you’ve completed 9 more subjects) – you adapt, and you get on with it. Sulk, throw a tantrum and then focus. Struggles and hardships are character building. 

So… my 2017 resolutions are as follows; 

1. Smile more (in photos) – I look like a dork so I avoid smiling for photos 

2. Pass my board exams – 3 more to go! 

3. Drink 1-2L of water a day 

4. Start mountain biking regularly – fun way to get fit and explore 

5. Go to gym 3-4 times a week, before work if possible. 

6. Come home (to Durban) as often as I can 

7. Make time to connect with friends and family. 

Once established, I then break them up into monthly goals which makes it easier to track my progress. 
See smiles below, goal 1 – progress ✅ 

Festive feasting: Book Binge

I’ve been starved, and now I’m devouring novel after novel 😁

2016’s backside is slowly moving out of sight and I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t read many novels. In my defensive, 2016 has been a difficult but rewarding year. As my first year of articles of clerkship, I’ve read. Thousands of pages – for work, there’s a lot of words in the legal profession. I’ve also written 10 examinations while working full time. So between perusing legal documents and studying, this chicka has been starved of good, thrilling books. 

However, I’ve redeemed myself this festive season and I’ve been through 5 novels in two weeks. I didn’t rush, I savoured every word (and stayed up all night some nights). They were fantastic and worth a recommendation. So if you’re craving a book that is easy to read and fast-paced, consider the following books: 

1. Irene, Alex and Camille by Pierre Lemaitre – death, lies and intrigue. These books, especially Alex, were so unpredictable! 

2. The girl with all the gifts by M R Carey – a zombie thriller like no other, maybe the best one I’ve read albeit the last zombie book I’ve read was Goosebumps. 

3. The couple next door by Shari Lapeña – a husband fornicating with the neighbour, a baby stolen from its crib, an emotionally volatile woman…what could go wrong, right?  I couldn’t get enough of this book. 

Credit must be given to my delicious boyfriend who purchased & recommended the books to me! Xoxo

Weeping weekend

I’ve neglected this blog. Not because I’ve lost interest, I’ve just been very busy with life in a new city – I’ve been in Johannesburg for 7 months, is that still new? 
Work, life and love have consumed my life and I cannot remember the last time I had time to myself to write or read other blogs. 
Today time stands still, I don’t care about having time to work or fulfill other obligations and commitments. 
This weekend I lost a family member. My dog, Macy. She’s been in my life for 15 years. That is more than half my life and I’m taking this time to reflect and grieve. 
I have never weeped like I’ve weeped this weekend. 
On Saturday morning, 16 July 2016, I arrived in Durban. Two hours later, Macy was unable to move or walk. I sat with her for an hour and a half, not wanting to move her as she’s old and fragile. I wanted her to get her strength back and I’d sit with her until she did. She looked at me with her sad brown eyes and moaned. It was the most heart wrenching noise and I knew something was not right…. 
I had to say my goodbyes to her at the vet. I cried and cried and cried and then I kissed her and put my head on her little body and cried more. 
Honestly, on the way to the vet, I thought she’d come back home with me. 
I know she was old and her time was coming but I never expected it. 

My mom says she waited for me to come back to Durban so I could say goodbye. That’s sentimental bullshit but I believe it. 

5 May 2001 – 16 July 2016 

RIP my sweet, sweet girl. 


Dogs are family. 
Dogs are blessings. 

 

What turns you on? 

For me, it’s smarts. It’s knowledge, expertise and the readiness to learn. 

 
My best friends are smart; my boyfriend is a genius; my peers are experts in their fields; the people I follow on Twitter are smart – they don’t spam my feed with links to news sites or politics, they’re able to formulate witty and sometimes cheeky or cynical tweets. 

I like being around people who are intellectually stimulating, and yes, I’m an intellectual snob. If you don’t have depth or cannot impart any information on me, I won’t waste your time or my time, and shouldn’t we all be as selective?
Smarts don’t necessarily mean degrees or diplomas or phD’s… (Mere titles that cost $$$$$ – always remember that you can read books and do the research while not having registered to a formal programme). And while having degrees to your name and a voluminous reservoir of textbook knowledge is great, a curious mind and a willingness to explore and learn is what I’m talking about. 

Thinking doesn’t strain your brain. We think all the time – but if we gossip 24/7 and focus all our brainpower on the Kardashians, for example, we’re dumbing down. 

Intelligence is sexy. Read a novel, watch the news, choose a random topic and do some fun research… Learn. Grow. Train your brain to get the best out of it. You will become more interesting and more confident, people will gravitate towards you. It’s happened to me. I’ve outgrown many friendships simply by improving myself and I’ve found it to be so rewarding. 

Still not convinced that intelligence is sexy? Remember, a woman’s orgasm starts at her brain. 

Project duplicate

If I can afford to splurge on myself, I can afford to help someone else out in a little way. 

This is my personal project that I have committed to.

What this means is that for every self indulgent splurge I make on myself, I will spend money on someone who deserves it. For example: I purchased a new pair of shoes (I always splurge on shoes because I do not compromise my comfort), and while I am in no financial position to splurge on a pair of shoes for someone else, I did buy a pair of reasonably priced shoes for someone who had old, torn shoes. He was grateful and I felt good. Maybe I do this for my ego, but if so, so what? I get a high from improving lives, even if its a small gesture like buying a pair of shoes for someone.

Last week, I paid my varsity fees (using my mom’s credit card) and while this is not a “splurge” I realized how lucky and privileged I am as I do not to worry about finances or paying for my education. Unfortunately, education is a luxury for many. This led me to contact a local primary school (public) and ask for a the names of any students who had outstanding fees because they could not afford it, there were 3 names – the children had been defaulting for years and the school had no choice but to hand them over to debt collectors, *insert Sasha* I decided to give their parents one less thing to worry about this year and paid the outstanding balances – anonymously, from my own pocket (not my mom’s credit card). This made me feel good too, even though the beneficiaries have no idea who I am.

Like Joey says, there is no selfless good deed